So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I AM VODKA MAN
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
