He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
