Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
