Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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