he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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