I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
