For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
