he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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