her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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