this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
