I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
