every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
