Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
