We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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