you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
