D3 body, D1 cock
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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