just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
