Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
