38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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