i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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