girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
