Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm both gender and math confused
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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