just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
