Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
