she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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