You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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