No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
