Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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