Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
