at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
