I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
