My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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