Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
