Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
