I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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