Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want to stick my p in your. b.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize