We're like a lot better than the average bears
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
