I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
