I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Is it penis luge time yet?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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