Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
