Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
