she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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