Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
