Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
