I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It was like getting head from an anaconda
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
