omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
