I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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