i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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