when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
