addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
