happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
