Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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