oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
