she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
