I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
