Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
