Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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