I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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