I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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