just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
