pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
