i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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