Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
