Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
