they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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