is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
