just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize