First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
