I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
