How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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