yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
