2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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